I said a Temporary Goodbye to this blog on the 20th July 2018 while I went on my first big family holiday with my kids (which ticked off a place on my travel bucket list) and had a much-needed social media break. The hope was that I would rejuvenate myself while being scared of FOMO and potentially losing some of my inspiration, passion and motivation for the blog.
I did feel rejuvenated and excited to log back in but if you follow me on Instagram or my other blog, you may have noticed me mention some issues I’d been having with accessing it. Thankfully from a reader perspective, all was well and scheduled posts kept ticking along all through August up until now. I’m usually a procrastinator but it was lucky I’d gotten my act together enough before my break to have some posts ready to go. And I say I’m a procrastinator but I have Song of The Month posts scheduled up until February 2020, I had one very productive evening a few months ago which is totally out of character for me. And lucky for you if you like music.
But anyways I’m back now, live and posting.
I’m not actually a bitch!
So what do I want to change?
Something I’ve noticed is the growth of my Instagram account. I feel pressure about presentation on there. I get sucked into the pattern of checking my account several times a day when at the same time, I’m happy to let my tumblr or Twitter just do their own thing. Instagram is addictive. I love it, I just wish it loved me back! That’s not to say that I haven’t found some amazing bloggers and accounts (and they’ve found me too). But for me, the growth is so slow. Positive: My following is growing…
You get loads of follows after a post. Then when you post something new or slightly different, you lose a load. I suppose I could capitalise on any growth by posting constantly but I can’t be arsed. It’s not in me just to post for the sake of doing it. Unfortunately, it seems that’s what you have to do. I don’t have the time to create the content, remember, at this time, this blog is a hobby. So knowing that, I don’t know why I’m so bothered.
I had this awful cringe moment when I realised I had made more posts than I had followers, it’s actually quite pathetic, not the number of followers but that it hit me so hard. Instagram, for me, is supposed to be free promotion for this blog and a place to find like-minded people and brands. It was the only reason I joined in the first place. I think I just need to chill out in my own head and look at it like I look at the other social media without any pressure to conform. It should be that simple.
In the world of Instagram perfection, I’m aware that my feed probably isn’t cutting it. I don’t like how disjointed it looks but I also don’t want it to be perfect. I don’t want all the pics to have the same colour themes, I don’t want them to all have white backgrounds, I don’t want to always look perfect. If other people do, that’s fine. I think it looks great but it isn’t me. I’m not perfect, not even close.
However, could my feed do with a little tidying up? Yes. So I’ve started to add quotes at regular intervals but the pattern I’ve chosen is only apparent if I post a certain amount of photos at a time, which I don’t mind. To counter the haphazardness, I’ve decided on a uniform look to the quotes and I’m planning on upping my photography game, just a little but not too much.
Speaking of me not being perfect, I also plan on not spouting anymore happy, clappy bullshit. I felt myself falling into another trap. I’m a fairly positive person but in a negative way. I want the best for myself and others around me but I suppose my delivery is peppered with snark, dark humour and sarcasm. And to fit in, I found myself doing what everyone else was doing, posting inspirational messages. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing them, reading them, taking them in and feeling empowered. But posting them, it’s not me. I want what I post on the web to be me, 100%. So if you see a motivational quote from me from now on (if I carry on doing them) it should make you laugh, snigger or smirk but also make you feel good too!
Another thing I thought long and hard about was whether posts about my weight are helpful to me. Or anyone reading. I’m not massively overweight but I’m definitely not healthy. I want to be healthy but I like food, I like “bad” food. I want to be better but until I come up with a sustainable strategy on how to change my eating and exercise habits, I think I should leave all of that too people who know what they’re doing.
There’s a possibility my point of view could be useful as a “how to” or even a “what not to do” but I feel like I can’t articulate it eloquently enough to contribute to the wider conversation at this point. Also, I don’t want to be neurotic about my weight and how I look. I actually feel quite good about myself and I don’t think I should be engaging in any deep analysis at the moment that could knock me off course.
Onto the positives, I feel like this post has been a bit of a downer so far, sorry. I’m planning on starting a series about blogging called That Blog Life. It’ll detail the highs and lows of blogging from my unique perspective. It’ll also be a place to vent some of my frustrations at the process and some of the expectations that are unfairly placed on us. But also the amazingly good stuff that come out of blogging too.
Watch this space as that all starts to come together.
The other positive is a form of self-care for me. I’m changing my blogging schedule as I feel that it’s causing me stress. I shouldn’t be getting that from a hobby I love. It’s not a huge change. I imagine it would be almost imperceptible to even the most avid followers of this blog. But I do think it will give me a bit more breathing space to produce content in a way that I am happy with. So instead of posting on the 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th and 25th, I aim to post on the 1st, 7th, 14th, 21st and 28th which is the same schedule as my other blog.
And you may notice that I said “aim,” the pressure is off when it comes to being so regimented. It’s one less blog post a month and I’ll have more time to write between posts. Like I said, the posts for the first of the month are scheduled for a long time to come (Song Of The Month) which will also give me some breathing room. I also think from a reader perspective, it’ll be easier to remember.
I don’t get a complete pass though. The blog post I lose on this blog, I plan to add to my other blog. I’ll add a quote of the month post on the first, much like the Song of The Month here. Something that’s really easy to put together. Hopefully it’ll give you a little insight into the things that make me tick and make me happy. But as I said earlier, not too much happy clappy BS.
So was the break worth it?
I queried for a short time during my break and after (when I came back to a broken website) whether I wanted to carry on with this blog or not. I honestly was just not sure.
But now I am.
I think over time this blog will evolve into something else, I guess I’m still trying to find my way. I hope you stick with me on this journey as I grow into a more confident blogger but more importantly, a more confident person. It’ll be a part of my life in some form for a very long time. Taking regular breaks away from it will allow me space to reevaluate how I want to move it forward. The break gave me time to think about what I really want and I want this. I want my log to grow and thrive and sometimes you need to step back to see the bigger picture.
Let’s keep blogging together (and don’t forget to take a break from time to time)!
xx Lee xx
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