Another quarter of the year has gone which means it’s time for another update!
Hair. It’s the thing that grows on your head, that helps keep the heat in, that can add another dimension to a look. And when you lose it, voluntarily like me, you re-think what it means to you. You think about a lot of stuff really. In fact, you just realise that hair is more than just hair.
I trimmed my hair on the 9th April and the amount of hair in the bowl (I’d just finished my dinner) was disheartening and a little scary actually. I’d realised my hair had needed a trim for ages but I just kept putting it off, over and over again. My hair felt dry and bushy at the ends, deep conditioning and moisturising wasn’t improving the situation so I decided to let it all go. I understand that health is more important than length but damn…
I’m not exactly sure how much I cut off but my last length check had me at 14cm/5.5 inches so taking into account my roughly 1cm a month growth, the bit of hair I pulled out to measure after the trim was only about 10cm long. I was pretty devastated for a few minutes. The bowl was looking full and my hair was looking short. Which is a lot to take in when you look at your hair and don’t think there was much there in the first place.
But that hair needed to go. My ends where bushy and dry and knotting up like crazy. After the trim, it felt like a beautiful sponge. I had had so much trouble moisturising my hair pre-trim but after, it just felt like it was soaking up the moisture. It was the right thing to do. But when you’re on a journey to tailbone length hair, any loss just feels bigger. And it is in the chase for length. But my hair has to be healthy too and sometimes you need to sacrifice what you want for what you need.
I think at the beginning of my journey, the idea of a 5cm+ chop would have had me crying, I may have fronted that all was okay but I wouldn’t have taken it well. Now, I don’t like it but I realise the necessity of it. I still have enough length to work with. I’ve even attempted my first puff-like style AFTER I trimmed my hair. I can see how I’ve changed as a person. It’s crazy that a haircut can do that. I’m starting to feel all the feels for my hair but more importantly for myself.
I don’t look at myself the same way I used to, of course there are still ups and downs, some awful days but some great days too. I have to look at myself differently because I was different then and I am different now. I was bald as an egg, losing something that meant so much to me, as silly as it was, putting so much power in dead cells coming out of my scalp, it’s no way to live.
And that’s something that is important to remember. Especially when you’re going through change, with you hair, your body, yourself in general. Sometimes your twist out will be poppin’ and sometimes it’ll be a hot mess. It’s all part of growing. Figuring out what works is one of the hardest thing I’m finding.
Does anyone else love a product one day and hate it the next? Coconut Oil, I’m talking to you!
Not everything is suitable to get into your Holy Grail list. This all takes time and patience when experimenting to find your perfect regimen. And remember that’s OKAY. They say you can’t rush greatness anyway. Enjoy each stage as you grow because you will almost undoubtedly miss it when it’s done. I already miss being an egg.
Oh wait, I haven’t said how long my hair was this length check. Well, drum roll please…
Yes, I’ve had a trim, yes my hair is shorter than it should be right now (going by previous length checks) but I’m growing in all the right places, in my mind and in my happiness. That’s real growth. My hair is now the same length it was in November, so it’s a 6 month setback in length but I’ve had a bit of mental growth with regards to health being more crucial and loving what I have, no matter how short. And what’s more important?
How’s your journey doing?
Let’s keep growing together!
xx Lee xx