I’m someone who generally keeps my cards close to my chest. There are people that have known me for years and as much as they may know my personality, I don’t know if they know me. That’s 100% down to me. I only let people in so much and carefully answer their questions. I’m trying to be more open but I don’t know if that’s working. In a way, that is what this blog and my other blog are for. However, I don’t really want to be a mystery to my kids, of all the people in the world. They shouldn’t have to decipher my feelings from abstract works of fiction or blog ramblings.
I think I’ve been doing quite a good job of them getting to know me so far. Partly because they’re pretty easy to be open to. I answer almost any question they ask like “Why can’t I marry my brother?” “Why is the sky blue?” “How do you get to the moon?” Obviously with the help of my dear friend Google. But do those answers tell them anything about me? About the life I’ve lived? Why I am the way I am?
I decided to rectify that as best as I can.
My plan is to create a book for each of my 3 children filled with questions answered by their closest family members. The list of questions is pretty extensive so I think I may need to have a major cull but I think in the end it’ll create a great little keepsake for the kids when they are older. There are some fairly standard questions going in and some left field ones too e.g –
- Where were you born?
- What was your first car?
- Barbecue, ketchup or mayo?
All the really serious and important stuff you’d need to know! The questions need to give answers that show personality and the real nitty gritty of what makes you tick.
The questions, like I said earlier, won’t just be for me. My plan is to get my husband, my parents, his parents and grandma, my brother, sister and brother in law involved. I’m planning on sending the questions out by email but then I’ll hand write them (THREE TIMES!) into cute notebooks that they can keep forever and maybe hand down to their kids. All the questions so far are the ones myself and my husband have come up with. I cannot wait to pull the kids away from Thomas & Friends or Barbie doll videos on a YouTube loop to get their input! They are so random in the most lovely way. I can’t wait to see what they think is important to ask.
Knowing your family tree is important but it would be nice to know the people that are on it. I think things like that will get easier for generations to come as people are living longer and social media accounts will (hopefully) last forever. As well as being able to talk to me about anything, my kids can potentially go onto the internet and see all the stupid things I’ve done and said, the things that I like and find funny. The memes…oh my god, all the memes!
We have thousands of photos of the kids that we’ve taken, there are loads of videos of them (as far as I know my parents have none of me) and that will help show them how important it was to us to record their early memories for them. Accompanied by the books, this should be an adequate record of the people that love them for them. Especially when we are gone. I obviously will talk to them too but when I’ve passed away, I want them to know what my first memory was or my favourite childhood toy. Memories matter. This information matters, no matter how trivial it seems, it will help them understand who they are, why they are how they are, why they like what they like. Surely, anything that adds to them knowing themselves is one of the best gifts I could give.
And hopefully, they won’t worry about questions they never asked because the book can answer them, and if it doesn’t, hopefully it can provide a few smiles when they remember us.
Let’s keep growing together!
xx Lee xx
What questions would you ask your loved ones? What family keepsakes do you have?
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