So about 4 weeks ago, I made the blog announcement that I was going to try and lose weight. That I was going to embark on this grand healthy lifestyle situation. Update: Not going so well.
I was considering throwing the whole idea in the bin but since I started, I need to finish, even if it’s not in the manner I was hoping. I’ve had a lot of stuff going on. That is code for “I’m making an excuse but I’m going to dress it up a bit.” There has been a lot though, family stuff, work stuff, applying for jobs, chores, blogging, car trouble and health issues. Even with all that, I know I’ve let myself down. Week one was affected by me being quite ill but not in a loss of appetite kind of way, in a comfort eating kind of way. That’s not conducive to weight loss especially since my sweet tooth is insatiable! I salivate at the thought of sugary treats, gosh, I’m thinking about chocolate right now. Damn.
I’ve had support so I know when I get my serious healthy living head on, I won’t be on my own. Plus, my husband is really good at losing weight, exercising, dieting and when he sets his mind to something, he gets it done. It’s actually quite inspiring (but obviously not enough for me *coughs*). One of my old school friends quite helpfully suggested I do planks for core and back strengthening. It’s a good simple idea that works on the area I want to “fix.” I had done it a couple of days before she suggested it, coincidentally, and was gobsmacked I could only do it for about 15-20 seconds. That, even by my low standards, is a piss poor performance. I used to, waaaay back when, be able to go for well over a minute, what has happened? And that’s the thing that I think gets everyone, you don’t always know how much you’ve let yourself go. I suppose, it doesn’t help that I’ve had 3 kids and have diastasis rectii (a pregnancy related condition which can leave you looking pregnant long after you have given birth due to the separation of the abdominal muscles).
This gave me pause for thought. I’ve been conscious about my belly for years but more so since having kids. I have a condition that makes the situation worse. And I’m still beating myself up about it. Why?? This is why the physical side of this challenge seems to have halted. Because I’m beating myself up for being natural. Sure, it means I wouldn’t feel comfortable in a bodycon dress but I can still look killer. I thought I needed to change myself to look in a mirror and think damn you look good. And yes, even after all these realisations, I probably need to lose weight for my health and drop some inches to reduce my risk of some health conditions, but I looked at myself the other day and liked what I saw. With no reservations, caveats or second guessing.
It wasn’t an act. And wasn’t part of the “fake it before you make it” mentality.
It was 100% real.
To be fair, I did have a nice outfit on (that I will be wearing for an upcoming wedding) but sometimes it’s not you that needs to change its your perception of you that needs to change.
Now that’s all great but I had given myself until about mid-May to make an actual change due to a hen do and the potential for having to wear a bikini. I’m still very nervous about that because all those old insecurities will flood back but I’m looking at life like this right now. I may be struggling to lose weight, reduce my midriff and eat healthier but my main priority with that now is not gaining weight. Take the pressure off for meeting deadlines and just work on this change, inside and out, day-to-day. However, I will check back in about 4 weeks to see my progress because that’s what I’d planned to do. I hope to be feeling even better about myself.
And one plus on the exercise front, before it sounds like I’ve literally done nothing, I have been walking a lot more. I’m getting out of the office on a regular basis rather than reading the news, checking out my blog or going on social media for half an hour. It’s nice to get some “sun” on my face and hopefully help my low Vitamin D levels.
So even though it doesn’t really matter too much now, here are my measurements (20/03/18 in red, today in orange). And I still can’t find my proper measuring tape…
Weight 65.8kg / 65.3kg (did drop to 64.7kg a couple of weeks in)
(B) Bust 34 inches / 34.25 inches
(W) Waist 35.5 inches / 35.5 inches
(H) Hip 38.5 inches / 38.5 inches
(A) Bum 40 inches / 40.5 inches
(T) Thighs 38 inches / 38.25 inches
My weight is slightly down and some of my measurements are slightly up. Can’t win, can I? However, I honestly think any gains are due to bad measuring…
So the thing that started this all off was going away for a hen do knowing there will be sunbathing and a load of gorgeous svelte girls running around. Question is, when I come back in 4 weeks, will I have found my summer body or just a really flattering bathing suit?
Let’s keep growing together!
xx Lee xx
Any tips to get me back on track? Or should I work more on myself?